The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
