I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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