She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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