He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
