I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
