YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
