Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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