i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
