What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
