Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
