She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
