At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
