I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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