just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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