New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
not ubering you a puppy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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