So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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