4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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