My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We left an ass print on the piano.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
