first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
