He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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