i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
