how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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