I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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