ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I am one with the molecules
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
