Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
