Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You can't just leave with hair like that
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
