this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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