somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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