You made me cry and you don't even care
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
