Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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