And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
