It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
what day is it and did you see me today?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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