yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
soo... how was my night?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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