woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
