I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
