So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
These tits shall not be calmed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
