before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
