why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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