I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
