why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You've changed since you got that strap on
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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