how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
