Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
