I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
