Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
