I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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