It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
