Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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