Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
