She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
