you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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