I feel like abortions should bother me more
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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