what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
