just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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